Thursday, August 30, 2018

Week 2 Story: How the Moon Got Her Beautiful Face

A long time ago, no one looked at the Moon. She was plain, a big white orb hanging in the sky. Smooth, unblemished, and uninteresting. She guided war and merchant ships at sea, illuminated children playing games at night, and provided light for lovers, kissing in the dark. She was a tool, but she was vain and she wanted to be called beautiful.

There was also an unhappy girl. People stared at her as she passed them in the roads, because she had some parts of her skin which were lighter than others. They were on her hands and feet, like gloves and socks; they were on her chest and shoulders, like battle armor. There was even a large white patch splashed across her face. The others called her the "the girl with the patchwork face;" she did not think she was beautiful.


Chantelle Winnie


One day, the Moon heard crying. She looked for the source of the sound and found the girl hiding in the woods. The Moon looked upon her with pity and interest. 

"Why do you weep, girl?" the Moon said.
"I weep because I am hideous!" the girl cried, and tears streaked down her face. She dared not cry in town, among the people. But alone in the woods, she let her tears flow freely and without shame.

But the girl did not know that she was not alone. A boy from the village had followed her through the trees. He watched her sob with a leaden heart, for he loved the girl with the patchwork face, and it pained him deeply to see her sorrow.

The Moon said to the girl, "Come. Come and live with me in the sky. For I am plain, but you are beautiful. Men will look up not to see when to plant, or when the tides will rise, but to admire how lovely we are."
But the girl would not be cheered, and said "No, Moon. If you want to be lovely then I must stay away, down here on Earth. I cannot make you beautiful."

The boy walked out from betwixt the trees and approached the girl in the wood. 
"You must go with the Moon," he said. "For I think you are the most beautiful girl, and all should see you as I see you. Tell us how to reach you, Moon, and I will see to it that she joins you in the sky."

The Moon was elated. "Find the tallest tree in the forest and climb it. I will guide you. I will take you in my arms and kiss you, and the sky will become your home."

The girl was afraid, but she took the boy's hand and together they ran through the woods, following the light of the Moon.

Finally, they came upon the tallest tree, shining brightly in the night. They began to climb, and as they did the girl's heart lightened. The boy pulled her up when she stumbled; sometimes, in her excitement, she went ahead of him. They climbed and climbed, higher and higher, until the air was thin and they were amongst the stars. 

The Moon was directly above them, now. The girl stretched and reached as far as she could, but she was still too far away. The boy braced himself and balanced carefully upon the treetop before lifting the girl high overhead, until the Moon could kiss her patchwork face. 

As soon as the Moon's lips touched the girl's forehead, she vanished. 

The boy scrambled down the tree, scratching himself on twigs and on branches. He ran through the forest, back to the village, without stopping. When he had returned home, he told everyone in the village to look at the Moon's new face and see how beautiful she was.

The villagers were skeptical because everyone knew that the moon was plain, but when they turned to see her they all stared in awe and silence. The villagers looked upon her dips and curves, her mountains and seas, her dark patches and bright spaces and said, "How beautiful she is."

And the moon and the girl were happy.

"Shadows Girl Night Balloon Play Full Moon"
Author's Note:
I was inspired by the "Origins" stories in the Mythology-Folklore Anthology. I liked how both stories sort of gave an explanation for the images we create out of the shapes on the moon's surface. I wanted to do a similar story. 

Bibliography:
Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock (1920).
"The Man in the Moon" from Laos Folk-lore by Katherine Neville Fleeson.

10 comments:


  1. Hi Alona,

    I really liked the way you wrote this story, I can tell you have talent of writing. I also liked the way you showed the conversations the girl had with the moon. I think your story was really cute too. You really have told it in a beautiful way. The concept of your story was also really nice and how the girl kissed the moon and she went to the sky. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

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    1. Thank you, I'm really glad that you liked reading it and that you thought the concept wasn't too corny, haha.

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  3. Wow, Alona! I really loved your story! It was very creative, and I loved that the boy who loved the girl encouraged her to go to the moon so everyone could appreciate her beauty. You also did a great job describing the girl's uneven skin tone. I loved that detail because it's an actual condition, and you could portray this "myth" as an explanation for why that happens and why it's beautiful.
    The only critique that I have is maybe there should be a little more detail about the girl's village/normal life. Some questions I had were: Did the villagers make fun of the girl, think she was cursed, or treat her differently, or was it just the girl who thought she was ugly? How did the boy come to love her? Did the girl have parents, and if so, what did they think?
    You did a really great job with this story, and I hope to read some more soon!
    (Sorry about the Unknown comment, if you saw that. I just figured out how to make my name show up.)

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    1. I noticed that in a lot of myths, they don't give a lot of detail. So with this story I tried to mimic that aspect of really old folktales, you know with characters that just kind of come out of nowhere and things just happen without any really explanation--like how she just kind *whoosh* goes into the sky. Like how the heck does that happen?
      So since that was the goal, I'd never really though about the background, like the villagers or the where the boy's feelings come from. But it could be interesting to explore, and I think that the readers (maybe even on accident) kind of fill in the blanks with their minds.

      Haha I did see the unknown comment, but I'm glad to know who it was. Thanks for your critque!

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  4. Alona, that was such a beautiful an inspiring story! The way you showed two very unhappy beings, whom of which were both very beautiful without change, come together to form happiness in both their eyes. I must say that I was hoping the girl would have agreed to stay on Earth for the boy's sake. Also, how did the girl benefit from going to the sky?

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    1. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story. I also kind of wanted the girl to stay with the boy, if I 'm being honest, but I liked the idea of him loving her enough that he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to not only encourage her to go live with the Moon but to actually help her get there. I think she gains self-confidence in knowing that the Moon wants her and that she will be appreciated and considered beautiful by the people on Earth. I can see how her benefit is not really clear, and maybe I should have made it known that the villagers think she's ugly or cursed or something so that she's gaining a better situation. That gives me something to think about, I appreciate it!

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  5. Hi Alona! Wow, what a well written story! I especially liked all the small and descriptive details that you added into the story. Paying attention to small details like that really makes it that much more enjoyable for the reader. When I was reading, I was visually creating a picture in my head of what the different scenes in the story may have looked like. I wonder what would of happened if the boy went up into the moon with the girl? Could they have lived up there together or was it meant just for the girl? This was such an interesting and relatable story. Having patches on your skin that are a different color than your overall skin tone can be difficult to deal with, but how the main character in your story dealt with her pain was remarkable. I wonder what would of happened if the girl came back down from the moon? Would people better understand her and accept her more than they did prior to her becoming the moon?

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  6. Hi Alona! Well for one, I LOVED your story. Not only did you tell it beautifully, but the story itself was heart warming and sent such a profound message. I personally love all of Winnie's work and her dominant presence throughout the fashion industry, so using her as an inspiration for this story was brilliant. Did you always have the boy following her? I have yet to read the original version of this story, so I do not know if he was involved in it. However, it would have been nice if she chose to go to the moon without the boys approval! Either way, you did a wonderful job and if you did a portfolio I hope this piece is on there!

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  7. Hi Alona! This story is so good. It has a very powerful message about beauty and thats so inspiring. You wrote it perfectly. I haven't read the original stories so I don't know how they relate to your story. I would have liked to have a little more background information about them but other than that you did a great job!

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